Off The Beaten Path: Das Burger

WORDS David Mowery  PHOTO Bryan Carter

The lament of people who are hungry, yet missing key ingredients to make something, is best expressed by Smokey in Friday: “Y’all ain’t never got two things that go together. Cereal, No Milk; Kool-Aid, No Sugar; Ham, No Burger!”
And while Montgomery may be plagued by never having two things that go together, we are blessed with a deep bench of places to get a world class, gut busting, Bloomberg trolling, grease factory of a hamburger.
Elvis died 36 years ago, and there’s a reason he’s still known as The King. Here, Hamburger King has been around for years, and their moniker brings to mind the old saw “It Ain’t Braggin’ If You Can Back It Up.” Located on S. Decatur St., it’s a Montgomery institution. It does not disappoint. Cash only, and the type of dump you’d avoid in a city you didn’t know – this is the type of place “Off The Beaten Path” was built on.
I was introduced to Vicki’s Lunch Van by my fried The Late Great Joe Thomas, Jr. In addition to being an amazing musician, autodidact and renaissance man artist, he also liked to get lunch at the type of out of the way places featured in this column.
Though it’s now housed in an actual restaurant on Fairgrounds Rd. over by Montgomery Coliseum, Vicki’s was Montgomery’s Original Food Truck. Long before we needed a Development Department Contest and a newfangled truck, Montgomery had a van that served cooked-to-order hamburgers that are simple, fresh and delicious. Run by a mother-daughter duo, get there early or after the lunch hour if you have any hope of getting out in under 45 minutes – but like the best things in life it is actually worth the wait.
Not to be outdone by Montgomery’s homegrown hamburger establishments, Five Guys Burgers and Fries is pretty much The New Maniac Tough Guy In Town when it comes to the American Burger Scene. Founded in Alexandria, VA in the late 90s, it has become one of the most profitable and fastest growing burger chains in the country. We try to stay local and off the beaten path here at Made, but there’s no denying Five Guys puts out a consistent, killer product, quickly and cheaply. An anchor in the Starbucks’ shopping center on Zelda, along with Chicken Salad Chick and Ted The Wine Guy, Five Guys (and the neighboring Starbucks) represent mass-market product that gets the stamp of approval.
Most of the above places will cost you $10 or less for lunch, and don’t serve booze. While I’m often skeptical of the “Gourmet Burger” trend at high end restaurants or steakhouses, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention The Railyard Brewery downtown and The Chophouse at Vintage Year’s offerings.
The Railyard refurbished the old Montgomery Brewpub space and features locally brewed beers and numerous takes on burgers. From beef to pork to lamb, the beers and the burgers compliment each other nicely (see photo above).
The Chophouse burger is another level altogether. It’s a classic steakhouse, you can get a martini, and they’ll crack an egg on top for you to boot. Plus if you want to cut down on the massive amount of calories brought in to the equation by fries, you can get a salad.

If you have a favorite place not mentioned here, let us know and we’ll put it on the ever growing list of places Off The Beaten Path.

Off The Beaten Path: South of the Border, In Montgomery

WORDS & PHOTOS David Mowery

On the night of our first “real date” I declared to my future wife “I don’t like Mexican Food.” My wife is from Texas, where Tex-Mex is a way of life. This is not the only reason she would have had for immediately dropping me like a bad habit, but given her upbringing it would not have been an unreasonable reaction.

Granted this was the type of Mexican restaurant with a menu based around white cheese dip, ground beef and watery Margarita specials. There are many of these establishments in Montgomery, and they all seem to thrive. We ran a perfectly good joint out of The Alley downtown for not giving out free chips and salsa, and there’s typical other places in every strip mall between Ann Street and Shorter.

For the capital of a state that passed “The Strictest Immigration Law” in the country (still tied up in those pesky Federal Courts), Montgomery sure has its share of Mexican restaurants. There’s high brow, locally-sourced, high end beers and margaritas at El Rey in Cloverdale. You can get family-friendly and good middle brow food, great service and cold beer at La Zona Rosa on Zelda Road. If you go try the Banda Mexicana dip –seriously. And then there’s the type of “authentic” Mexican restaurants that foodies like our discerning readership want to seek out. The kind with day laborers and contractors sipping Horchata (queue Vampire Weekend) and Saturday menudo specials – con tripé!

The first such establishment I was aware of is El Cantaro Mexican on Ann Street across from the Wal Mart and next to The Money Store. On our recent visit they had significantly expanded the dining room and the menu. They offer both run of the mill “Mexican Food” and also “authentic” fare - I had Pork Carnitas Gorditas, which were excellent, though lacking a certain grit that you find out on Troy Highway.

Be forewarned, while exploring The Real Taquerias of Troy Highway, no matter how Hail-Fellow-Well-Met you may be in everyday life, most of these places will not recognize, or even appear to appreciate your patronage. You will get past the perceived rudeness when you tuck in to a plate of Tacos Campechinos – beef and chorizo – with a full platter of toppings and three different sauces at Taqueria Los Primos, or Lengua Tacos at Taqueria Vallarta. While most of these joints can be a little sketchy or unwelcoming, Taqueria Vallarta is a breed apart - housed in gas station with owners of Middle Eastern decent, staffed by a tattooed and be-weaved woman, and patronized by the type of folks who buy porn DVDs while popping in for a pack of blunts – and people like you who love tacos.

Troy Highway tends toward Taquerias, which are more in line with the Street Food ethos, but La Coronilla is a sort of split-the-difference between these other places. Located across from Twain Curve on Wares Ferry Road, and run by a nice guy named Epifario. He cooks amazing molé with whatever fresh fruit he has available, and also let us know: “if you know something you want to try, not on menu, just tell me, I make.” 

Our party ran the gamut of enchiladas –which were spiced pork, not wrapped, and with a plate of warm corn tortillas – to bone-in chicken with molé, tortas and even posole – which comes in red and green varieties. All were deemed excellent, and the molé and enchiladas will merit many a return trip.

Despite almost ruining my chances with a  beautiful woman over what I thought Mexican Food entailed, I can report that I’m happily married and have eaten my way across town. Montgomery has enough Mexican restaurants that you could plausibly eat at a different one each day of the week for a month and never repeat yourself. The inherent contradiction of a place that wants all Mexican “Job Destroyers” thrown out, but can’t live without those sweet, sweet tacos is yours to ponder – but I do recommend venturing off the beaten path of No Way Jose and their ilk once in a while and get outside your comfort zone, vibe La Migra, and eat some cow tongue or pig intestine. It certainly worked out for me.