SANTAAAAA!!!!!

WORDS Evans Bailey 

Who are we? Why are we like how we are?  Is it something engrained in our essence since birth, or do we learn to be ourselves over the course of our upbringing? Can we change who we are? Those questions and a little bit of Christmas cheer are the subject of this month’s film.

“Oh no,” you might say, “I’m not sitting though another one of those movies in black and white with subtitles. I’ve had enough of your artsy-fartsy stuff Capri Theatre, thankyouverymuch.” Well there’s nothing to worry about here, because we are talking about 2003’s Elf, a film so fluffy and light it makes cotton candy look like a Wendy’s Baconator.  

Buddy the elf (Will Ferrell) is an orphaned human raised amongst Santa’s elves at the North Pole. He is a true elf through and through, from the goofy shoes and hat, to the strict diet of candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup. One day, Buddy learns of his true origins, a magical place named New York City, and his real dad, a ball-busting children’s book publisher played by James Caan. His foundations rocked, Buddy sets off in hilarious fashion for the big city to see if he can get pops off the naughty list.

Buddy finds work at, where else, a department store and in its North Pole Christmas display.  While moonlighting as a fake elf, he meets his romantic interest Jovie (a pre-TV Zooey Deschanel), who’s a little burned out on the whole Christmas-thing. Buddy’s elf antics create havoc at work and some serious upheaval in Caan’s professional and personal life. Buddy tries to warm over his grumpy dad’s heart, and even manages to almost put in a “regular” day’s work (complete with “work clothes”), but its mostly all for naught until the end. The plot meanders a bit, but thanks to Santa’s late arrival, Buddy’s elf skills, and some (almost cheesy) Christmas spirit with an assist from a singing Jovie, Elf has a charming ending that ends up falling firmly on the side of nurture and human’s ability to change their cold, Christmas-hating hearts.

Elf is stupid fun, but it is most definitely fun.  Ferrell and a great supporting cast (Kyle Gass from Tenacious D, Ed Asner, Amy Sedaris, Peter Dinklage (“he’s an angry elf”), Mary Steenburgen, Bob Newhart, Andy Richter) are clearly having a lot of fun with the material, and director John Favreu’s (Iron Man, Made) light touch keeps the film from losing too much steam in its muddled middle.  Immensely quotable (“Not now arctic puffin!”), Elf is a modern Christmas classic that even a ball-busting children’s book publisher can enjoy.

Nerd Alert: Computer Chess, Reviewed

WORDS Evans Bailey  PHOTOS Jon Kohn

Computer Chess is an artsy/mumblecore version of the recent Ed Helms vehicle, Cedar Rapids. There’s a shitty hotel, a convention for nerds in a shitty convention hall, some partying, a hooker, and a convention head who thinks way too much of himself. But, where Cedar Rapids goes through the motions of a simple “don’t be so uptight” tale (WITH DRUGS), Computer Chess goes off on far more thought-provoking tangents (WITH DRUGS).

As the title implies, the glasses and short-sleeve-with-a-tie-wearing characters (and one girl) are gathered together to pit their chess playing computers against each other in a tournament to see which computer gets to play the convention’s human leader in a classic man v. machine matchup. Stuck together over some lost weekend in the late seventies or early eighties, the film loosely follows each team of programmers as they proceed through the tournament and interact in-between matches. There’s the academic squad, who’s leader may or may not be in cahoots with Pentagon, the loose cannon, who knows about the feminine side of programming but not how to reserve a room, and conspiracy spouting “fans.”  

Shot in a grainy gray befitting of the era, Computer Chess leaves Cedar Rapids in its wake based on its depth. The depth comes not from the chess action, which is rarely featured, but from the characters post-match (sometimes hazy) musings on chess and the burgeoning realm of artificial “intelligence.”  There is a dark current to the film, too. All of the players clearly love chess, the theory, and the competition, yet they gather together to play their favorite game by proxy. These are people who have poor social skills, ostracized by others, who don’t want to directly interact with one another in a “safe” place. The darkness is greatly underscored by the spookiness surrounding with the Cal Tech team. Their computer seems to be on the fritz, making suicidal moves that torpedo their chance of repeating as champions, but their young programmer learns in a late night session with the lone girl that his computer only wants to play (*GASP*) human opponents. We don’t learn until later that the Cal Tech device may be the second coming of HAL 9000.

With no real protagonist and no overarching message, the faux-documentary vignettes and tangents can be a little confusing at times. But there’s some deep stuff going on here, a little bit of the surreal, and a fair amount of squirmy humor too (and LOTS of cats). The young programmer’s almost three-way with some cult-like members is particularly cringe-inducing.

Released earlier this year to some fanfare at the Sundance Film Festival, Computer Chess is the fourth feature from Austin-based director Andrew Bujalski (Funny Ha Ha). The film has cult-potential, but the directing style and the lack of any recognizable actors (except maybe Wiley Wiggins, a/k/a Mitchy Cramer from Dazed and Confused) will probably keep Computer Chess from reaching Lebowski-like status. There’s also not enough heart here to make a classic.  In the end, the computers win.

Computer Chess runs at The Capri from November 29.

You Haven't Seen ...Vertigo?!

WORDS Evans Bailey

No biggie. All you have to do is work up the intestinal fortitude to lift up that rock you’ve been living under and get your vitamin D-deficient ass to the Capri Theatre on July 18 at 7:30. Bring some cash because you are going to need a beer or two (or five) to calm your nerves during the nail-biter that is Alfred Hitchcock’s Vertigo.

Jimmy Stewart (against type and, in 1958, 19 years removed from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington) plays a talented policeman forced into early retirement after a rooftop chase unearths his debilitating vertigo and acrophobia. He doesn’t stay retired for long. Upon the advice of his ex-fiancée Midge (Barbara Bel Geddes), he decides to get some stimulation in his life and takes a private eye job helping his old college pal, Gavin Elster (Tom Helmore). Gavin wants Stewart’s former cop skills to help him figure out what on earth is going on with his wife (Kim Novak). She’s disappearing for long periods of time and unusually immersed in her family’s tragic history. Is the supernatural at play, as Gavin suggests, or is it simply madness? 

There’s really only four characters in the film (or is it five?), and the big mystery gets revealed about halfway through. But it’s where Hitchcock takes Stewart’s character and the audience from there that’s led many far more established, experienced, talented, and better-paid critics to laud this picture as his magnum opus. Hitchcock weaves a ghost story, a love triangle (or rectangle?), drowning, falling, and intense psychological suspense with vivid scenes of 1950’s San Francisco to create a truly unforgettable film.

You like good things (you are reading MADE aren’t you). Gather all the change under your rock and go see Vertigo when it comes to the Capri.

I’m not kidding about needing the beer.