WORDS Anna Lowder
Saturday August 17, 12:45pm: The Countdown Begins
In just a matter of days, men will arise to paint their faces in thick primary shades, chests will be bared or full regalia donned in honor of beloved clubs nationwide. Yes, it’s time again for the full-on madness that is the English Premier League.
What’s this heresy? You don’t know the fanaticism that is British football? Well strap on your boots: this is the crash course in real football (yeah, I said it).
Lesson 1: Translation is important. Football is another name for soccer. The sport is primarily known as football throughout the world due to the fact that, rationally speaking, it is a sport played with the feet. The EPL is also known as the Premier League, or the Premiership. It is made up of the 20 top football clubs of the season, operated on a system of relegation (kicked out) or promotion (moved up) at the conclusion of each year’s season. The highest ranking team at the end of each season is crowned champion. Current reigning champions are Manchester United (Man U).
Lesson 2: Numbers don’t lie. Football is the world’s largest sport, played by over 270 million registered players and staff worldwide. Add in all of the kids and fans playing football around the globe, and we’re talking billions of people. It is plausibly the most democratic and inclusive sport in the world: all that’s needed for a pick up soccer match is one round ball and a flat piece of earth.
Lesson 3: Dollars (pounds) don’t lie. Over 4.7 billion people watched the English Premier League last year in over 212 countries. When it comes to money, football is king: global revenues for the sport total $28 billion annually—nearly as much as the revenues of all U.S. sports, Formula One racing, tennis and golf combined ($32 billion total).
Lesson 4: Form follows function. In other words, when guys run the full length of a 100 yard pitch for 90 minutes, they end up looking pretty damn fit. Compare soccer players bodies to the majority of American football players physiques and there’s not even a question of who gets more modeling gigs. This lesson was for the ladies.
Lesson 5: Time is of the essence. Each match is 90 minutes of play time (two 45 minute halves with a 15 minute half time). But the best part - no commercial breaks. Save yourself an hour and a half of meaningless commercialism and watch a football match instead of a college or, worse, NFL game.
Now that you have the low-down, get to know the top clubs to watch the best of the Premiership this fall. Top teams include: Manchester United, Chelsea, Manchester City, Arsenal, Liverpool, and Tottenham Hotspur. Most of these have ranked in the top five for decades, while others like Man City simply have ridiculous amounts of money due to wealthy overseas owners. These teams feature top talent and, when paired up each season, offer rivalries rarely seen outside Southern college matchups. But don’t stop with these six: smaller clubs compete with heart and each have unique histories and folklore (West Bromwich Albion - the name alone makes a match worth watching).
Now your only task is finding a local pub to watch live matches for the next nine months starting from 6:30am. Cheers.
The Premiership kicks off August 17th and runs through May 2014.
Catch the best live matches weekly on NBC and NBC Sports network. Follow statistics, analysis, commentary and fanaticism on these sites: premierleague.com • bbc.co.uk (BBC Sport) • skysports.com.